banana-haters have feelings too

top ten things to do while driving ALONE:

*note* i don't advise you do any of these when other people in the car. it could cause your passengers to be seriously disturbed for life.

10. pretend you're in a sitcom and turn the steering wheel vigorously left and right and never look at the road. just make sure there's no one else on the road at the time.

9. push your seat as far back and low as possible and turn up some rap music so you can pretend to be in the ghettos of detroit. for you short people, this might not be the best idea. make sure you can still see over the wheel!

8. make a big sign that says "SORRY!" and stick it out the window whenever you cut someone off.

7. pretend you're talking on your cell phone so you can look really cool and important.

6. pretend you're talking on your headset so it looks like you're talking to yourself - oh, wait, you really are!

5. practice your belting skills and sing along to your favorite cds. don't worry, i won't tell anyone you secretly adore the backstreet boys.

4. wave to those construction workers holding the "slow" and "stop" signs. your beautiful smile will make their day. or maybe that was MY beautiful smile, i can't remember...

3. smile seductively at a really old man or lady in the car next to you.

2. roll down your window and talk excitedly to someone in the car next to you and pretend like you're old friends that haven't seen each other in forever. don't forget to add in the "call me!" with your hand held up to your ears like a phone.

1. bark back at dogs in other cars. i've done this before, it's really quite freeing.

posted by Laura @ 1:57 PM